inspired by leihu.com/readme and quinnkeast.com/readme
I am a fictional reconstructionist, occultist, and chaos consultant. I write about my adventures in magic, paganism, homemaking, identity and learning new things. Inspired by my magical interests, I got my B.A. in Religious Studies. I’ve worked in finance, education, bookselling, doll repair and banking, but through everything, my passion remained in spotting patterns, making connections, and helping people find the guidance they needed.
Everything I do, I do with an eye to bringing order out of chaos and appreciating patterns.
I use he/him and they/them pronouns.
I live in Portland, OR.
If you want to see what I’m thinking about, check out my blog or my digital garden.
If you want to contact me you can leave a comment or find me on discord (jackdaw#9580).
Identities
Writer. I’ve been writing in some form or another since I was small. I’ve published a few things but mostly I do this for fun.
Transgender. I was labelled female at birth, but I socially transitioned in my late 20s and early 30s and medically transitioned in my late 30s.
Genderqueer. I’m definitely masculine most of the time, but my identity is fluid and not limited to “man.”
Bisexual. I am attracted to people both like and unlike my gender.
Fictional reconstructionist. My faith practice has both fictional and historical influences, and I use fiction as a medium to understand my own experiences and faith. Looking at, say, LotR or Dr Who and wondering what those religions looked like. How would it work? Who would you call on? The way you come to understand a religion like that is a framework on which you hang your own understandings and preferences in a religion. In building a relationship between yourself and a “fictional” deity, you’re reaching out to the Powers and saying ‘this is what my life is missing; does it exist?’ and preparing to accept the answers. Much of the time, for me, this is using writing to reach out to powers and invite them into my life.
Sympathizing order muppet. My natural inclination is to prefer order, and I can go down the organizing rabbithole with the best of them, but when working with Chaos Muppets I can embrace the joy of chaos. I got my start as a pagan and a magician in chaos magic, which is all about using whatever systems of magic or belief are going to work best in the current situation. While I no longer call myself a chaos magician, I remain a big fan of bringing order through the appreciation of chaos.
Disaster multipotentialite. I like to do lots of different things. All the things. I also get distracted from all the things. I have a lot of half-finished things. This may be related to the ADHD I didn’t get diagnosed until I was almost forty; I wouldn’t know an executive function if it bit me without my medication. I have auditory processing issues that mean it’s hard to actually process what’s being said to me, especially if there’s a lot of background noise. I love closed captions and I’m really not good at getting instruction from podcasts or youtube tutorials.
Philosophies
Be kind. I try to act with kindness. I am aware that kindness is complicated, and variable, and not as easy as nice. I may not be able to achieve Mr. Rogers levels of kindness, but I try to aspire to them at my best.
Share. I’m basically a socialist. Education and health care should be free. Universal Basic Income should be a thing. Minimum wage should be a living wage and prisons and police should be replaced with social reform.
Spirituality matters. I’m a heathenish fictional reconstructionist, and spirituality is a large part of how I make sense of my life and my relationship with the worlds around me.
Tools
My everyday carry includes the dellaQ mini messenger, with the lochby pocket journal and metaphysician’s day planner for analog notekeeping and organizing.
Quotes
“You have to put some dark color in so your light color will show.” - Bob Ross
“It’s honest. What our religion tells us, the part that is a religion, is that the gods created life to try and make meaning. It’s ultimately hopeless, and even gods die, but the effort is real. Will always have been real, even when everything is over and no one remembers.” - the Litany of Earth, Ruthanna Emrys
“Endure pain, find joy, and make your own meaning because the universe certainly isn’t going to supply it. Always be a moving target. Live. Live. Live.” - Lois McMaster Bujold
“Protection and power are overrated. I think you are very wise to choose happiness and love. There are reasons each of us are born. we have to find those reasons.” - Uncle Iroh